We asked award winning sex toy expert and blogger Cara Sutra what her top 10 sex toys for beginners would be. Get your wish lists ready…
Was Fifty Shades of Grey the first time sex toys had been so entwined with a novel’s plotline and characters? Maybe, maybe not. It was certainly the most memorable and the most impacting novel when it comes to sex lives all around the world. Nobody can dispute that 50 Shades (first the trilogy of books and then the movie) has helped to make not only kink a whole lot more sensual and appetising, but also the use of sex toys. Vibrators, jiggle balls, even a cheeky little butt plug – if Ana enjoyed them with Mr Grey, why shouldn’t you?
Here’s where you might stumble across a little hurdle. It can be absolutely bewildering looking through the thousands of different sex toys available when you want to splash some of that hard-earned cash on one that will work for you. Amongst the top frequently asked questions by those new to sex toys are:
What is the best vibrator for a woman?
What is the best sex toy for couples?
Let’s not forget the men here either; there are so many effective and top quality masturbators and prostate massagers available now, and using sex toys isn’t the taboo that it once was – whether for men or women.
With all of the above in mind, here’s my suggestions for the top ten sex toys for beginners.
For Her
1. The classic cylindrical vibrator.
This vibe forms the basis of many women’s sex toy collections. If you’re moving into the use of sex toys from manual masturbation with fingers and piv (penis in vagina) sex, then a cylindrical vibrator can help introduce you to sexual stimulation using vibrations in a non-intimidating way.
For absolute vibe beginners a great idea is to spend just a couple of pounds trying out the famous-for-newbies Lady Lust Finger slim vibrator (£2.45) which is battery operated and has a twist base so you can decide your speed of vibration.
Ready to ramp it up a gear? Buy the Fifty Shades of Grey Charlie Tango Classic Vibrator (£26.99) which is made with soft and smooth silicone and offers 7 stimulating vibrating settings to discover and enjoy.
2. Bullet style vibrator.
These vibrators are so named because they (unsurprisingly) resemble a bullet. They are small, smooth, discreet and quiet – and can be used to deliver powerful (or multi-function) vibrating stimulation to a woman during masturbation of her clitoris & other external erogenous zones, or shared pleasure during couples’ sex. The Rocks Off RO-80mm bullet vibrator (£8.99) is a constant bestseller due to its reliable power – and it’s now also available in a variety of colours and patterns.
Not Grey enough? Buy the Fifty Shades of Grey We Aim To Please Bullet Vibrator for just £11.39.
3. Rabbit vibrator.
You may have heard of the rabbit vibrator, made famous of course during that Sex in the City episode. Since the explosion of thousands of types of rabbit vibe on to the sex toy scene, including the very famous Rampant Rabbit, women all around the world have been charmed by the dual stimulation (vaginal and clitoral) these vibrators have to offer. Very often you get what you pay for with a rabbit vibrator, so beware ultra-cheap jelly types filled with plastic ‘pearls’ which can tear, disintegrate, stop working or may even cause skin irritations.
A fab rabbit vibrator for a first-timer is the Lovehoney Jessica Rabbit Slimline (£26.99) which is not only made with skin safe rubber but is also waterproof for bathtime and shower fun.
My most favourite rabbit vibrator is my LELO Ina Wave – however this will set you back quite a bit more at £129.99. An absolute jewel of an investment though.
4. Magic wand vibrator.
Oh, what did Vibratex start when they created the Hitachi Magic Wand ‘massager’? Women soon came to realise that the powerful vibrating head was so much more pleasurable used elsewhere than sore shoulders – and the magic wand vibrator was born. Although you can’t buy the Hitachi Wand in the UK (for power conversion safety reasons) you can buy something even better. If the jackhammer vibration of a Power Queen’s sex toy is music to your ears, you need the Doxy Massager. It’s £88.95 and worth every last penny. My favourite sex toy – and in my humble opinion, every woman should own one.
For Him
5. Male masturbator.
There are many masturbation sleeves and pocket pussies available but king of them all has to be the Fleshlight. I doubt it will take much persuading to upgrade from your au natural ‘handy wank’ but you could always hedge your bets with a less-than-£7 Cooch Loveclone Realistic Pussy if you really must.
If you decide that your cock is worth the intense, deluxe stimulation that the world’s bestselling masturbators can provide, get yourself the Fleshlight Pink Vagina Original (£44.95). To experience the tightest, most intense masturbation session ever, take a look at the Fleshlight Stamina Training Unit. It makes me wish I had a penis of my own, seriously.
No, using anal sex toys won’t make you gay. In fact, as a man you have a ‘boy butt bonus’ – the prostate. It’s a walnut sized gland inside your anal area which, when stimulated, can help you achieve the most breathtaking full-body orgasms you’ll have ever experienced. What are you waiting for? Get yourself a prostate massager (and grab the lube) and stimulate yourself to bliss.
Aneros are a leading prostate massager brand, and the Aneros Eupho (£36.99) is particularly slim and effective for first-timers. Once you’re on track for even more intense prostate pleasure, you might like to invest in the Nexus Revo Stealth (£149.99), which not only offers vibrating stimulation but is also waterproof and rechargeable.
Cock rings come in a whole load of different styles, sizes and materials, so this can be a particularly baffling category of sex toys. During his masturbation sessions, he may find that a static cock ring such as the (body-safe, non-porous) silicone Menzstuff Penis Tyre (from £4.75) adds enough extra stimulation. Static rings like this temporarily retain the blood in the erection, making it feel harder and more sensitive as well as keeping your penis harder for longer.
When using a cock ring during hetero couples sex, a vibrating cock ring can add a whole lot more to the sexy session. My advice is to avoid the extra-cheap, porous TPR or jelly material types as they won’t last and they’re not good quality. Also, a lot of these are one time use and/or take fiddly watch batteries. Instead, look at a rechargeable, body-safe and non-porous vibrating cock ring like the Tracey Cox Supersex USB Rechargeable Love Ring which costs £34.99.
For Everyone
8. Butt plug.
Whatever your gender, let’s face it – we’ve all got a bottom. It’s not just for sitting on, your butt can also provide a lot of sexual pleasure, with the use of specially designed anal sex toys of course. It can be scary using anal sex toys if you’ve never tried it before, but there are three golden rules: only use sex toys made for anal use (they have a flared base so don’t get sucked up into you), start smaller than you think you can take and always use lubricant. A brilliant first time butt plug is the Fifty Shades of Grey Something Forbidden Silicone Butt Plug (£14.24) which is made with super smooth silicone and feels extra delicious with water based sex lubricant.
9. Bondage cuffs.
Starting to feel turned on? Why not venture into more kinky territory with a little light bondage? My advice is to avoid the metal handcuffs which are often touted as ‘standard’ or ‘good for beginners’. These can actually cause pain to wrists and ankles (or even longer lasting damage) as you twist and turn in them.
Instead, look for fabric or leather bondage cuffs. These are much more flexible and supple, still providing effective and sensual restraint but also comfort and safe support. A great example is the Fifty Shades of Grey Totally His Soft Handcuffs (£14.95) which easily clip together and could be used with your other bondage accessories too. Make sure you only ever engage in bondage with someone you trust, and set a safeword (something other than ‘no’) before you begin – just in case you want to be released in a hurry.
10. Something Spanky.
Also known as the British pleasure, spanking is a very erotic act which combines trust in one’s partner as well as a more carnal and sensual release. For safety, you should confine spanking to a person’s buttocks or the fleshy area at the tops of their thighs. Sensual spanking implements are very varied and include whips, floggers, canes and crops, you are best off starting lightweight, small and easy to use.
The Fifty Shades of Grey Twitchy Palm Spanking Paddle costs £24.99 and can be used lightly or more firmly, and gives a very pleasing pink tinge to the skin. If you’d prefer a traditional black type, the Bondage Boutique Intermediate Round Faux Leather Paddle is a bargain at only £14.99.
There we have it – your definitive guide to the top ten sex toys for first timers. I hope this has given you a good idea for some key pieces to kick-start your pleasure collection.
If you have questions about any specific sex toy or would like other sex advice, please take a look at my sex blog & sexuality magazine carasutra.co.uk.
Cara Sutra