Anal toys are becoming more and more popular, and if you’re a woman who hasn’t tried one before it might be hard to understand why. Many people believe that if you don’t have a prostate you couldn’t possibly enjoy anal play, certainly not during your alone time. I’m here to convince you otherwise!
Anal toys can both enhance your orgasm and improve vaginal penetrative sex. They can create all kinds of new and intense sexual sensations. Have you ever been masturbating and thought you need an extra level of stimulation down below? If so, a butt plug could be just the thing you’re looking for! For women, anal toys shouldn’t be considered as just a stepping stone toward anal sex, but as interesting ways to spice up all kinds of sexual play.
With so many great anal products out there it can be overwhelming for a beginner. But relax, I’m here to advise you on few simple steps you can take to start your journey into the wonderful world of anal stimulation!
Step 1: Lube, lube and more lube!
This is by far the most important thing to think about with any anal play. Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating, so anything that goes need it will need a generous coating in lube . Lubes in themselves can be a mine field, with so many flavours and varieties to choose from. For your first anal-play dedicated lube I recommend you look for a few key things:
- Anal specific. A lot of lubes now will brand themselves as anal lubricants. This means that they have a thick and long lasting formula, which is exactly what you need for anal play. You can use these lubricants for vaginal play too, so they are great all-rounders.
- Water Based. This is only important because of the kinds of toys I am going to suggest. Silicone is a great material for anal beginners, and as such silicone based lube would degrade your toys. Although water-based doesn’t last as long as oil and silicone lubes, it is always body-friendly; it’s unlikely to upset the PH balance in your vagina and it’s very easy to clean up after.
- Non-numbing. There is a tendency now to market anal lubes that reduce the sensitivity of the anus, basically by numbing it, to make anal sex more comfortable. As a beginner I highly recommend you steer clear of these lubes, for two very important reasons: you need to be able to feel what’s going on so that you stop if it gets uncomfortable (the last thing you want is to injure yourself and not even notice), and numbing could reduce some of the pleasure you could be enjoying!
Step 2: Get a Beginners Butt Plug!
Butt plugs are by far the simplest and most popular anal toy. There are literally hundreds to choose from of all shapes and sizes. Here’s what to look for in your first plug:
- Start small! Look for plugs marketed at beginners, anything with a circumference greater than 3 inches or a length greater than 5 inches is too big in my opinion.
- Choose silicone! Silicone is the best material for anal beginners because it’s soft and flexible. You’ll really appreciate that it has some give to it when you’re trying to insert it for the first time. Silicone is also 100% body safe and can be sterilized. This is particularly important for anal play because the last thing you want is for your plug to harbor bacteria. Some beginners plugs are made from rubber jelly type materials, I’d avoid those because they are porous and can’t be sterilized.
- Tapering is your friend! The smaller the head of the plug the easier and more comfortable it’s going to be to insert. Look for gradual tapering and then a long, very narrow neck. Your sphincter will close around the neck so the longer and slimmer it is the more comfortable it will be. Straight plugs are easier to begin with than curved plugs aimed at targeting the prostate.
- Flared base! This is really important for safety; a flared base stops the toy from disappearing inside your anus, something that could end in a trip to the hospital! Look for a large flared base, it needs to be much larger than the neck of the toy and it should have the largest diameter of any part of the toy. T-bars or circular flared bases work equally fine.
After you’ve picked out your plug and your lube, you’re ready to get started! Put plenty of your water based anal lube on your anus and all over the plug, not forgetting to lube up the neck and include some extra lube on just the tip. Then get in to a position that is comfortable for you. Some people like to lie on their sides, others flat down on their stomach. My personal position of choice is flat on my back with my knees bent and my feet planted on to the mattress. Position the end of the plug on your anus, and just tease the entrance to see how it feels. Relax, breathe deeply and enjoy the sensation. When you’re ready, gently, slowly and firmly apply pressure to the plug until it has slipped in all the way to its neck. It should feel filling but comfortable. If at any point it hurts, stop immediately, withdraw the plug slowly, add some more lube and begin again, making sure you’re relaxed.
Once your plug is in and comfortable, masturbate as you normally do. I highly recommend using a toy on your clit for a more explosive orgasm! The plug will make you aware of all the contractions your anus performs when you cum, it really is an amazing feeling!
Step 3: Include your Plug in Vaginal Sex!
Now that you’re comfortable using your plug alone, and have hopefully reaped the benefits of more intense orgasms and a greater variety of orgasmic sensations, you could introduce one into play with a sexual partner. There are so many benefits to using a plug during penetrative sex, whether you’re having sex with a male partner or getting down with a bit of strap on or dildo play, the butt plug can really help you orgasm from penetration. Because the anus is full it means there is less room for the vagina, meaning the vagina feels tighter and you get a fuller feeling during penetration. Butt plugs also direct the penis or dildo towards the front wall of the vagina, which is where the G-spot is located. Stimulating this region is the best way to achieve orgasm without any clitoral contact, and even if it doesn’t make you cum it’ll still feel great!
Step 4: Make it Vibrate!
Okay, if you’ve gotten this far and you’re loving the new anal sensations, it’s probably time to crank it up a notch. My favorite way to increase anal stimulation is to add some vibrations to that plug ! There are a great many ways to do this, but here’s a few suggestions to get you started:
- DIY it! If the plug you brought has a flat circular base and you already have a powerful vibrator you can add vibes to the plug without ever needing a new one! If you are lucky enough to have a magic wand vibrator, you (or your partner) can carefully hold the magic wand head against the flared base of the plug to add those deep rumbly vibrations to your anus. This will also work with a powerful classic vibrator. Whatever you choose be very careful not to apply any pressure to the plug, the last thing you want is to push it inside!
- Go for a vibrating base! Electronics take up space, as such a lot of the vibrating plugs tend to be thicker than the non-vibrating plugs, which may be still a little too girthy for you to comfortably take. However, some are designed so that the t-bar base actually holds the vibrating part. This is a fantastic design because it allows the plug to be nice and small whilst still transferring the vibrations to the plug. They also offer delicious perineum (the section between the anus and vagina) stimulation, which really does feel great.
- Get a bullet thrown in! A lot of butt plugs now come with removable bullets, look out for them for the bonus of having an extra toy to play with independently even if you don’t get on with the plug itself.
Whatever vibrating plug you choose, make sure it is waterproof so you can thoroughly wash all its parts, and I still highly recommend sticking to silicone as your material of choice.
Step 5: Go explore!
Now you’ve explored a host of anal sensations, you’ve hopefully got some idea of the kind of sensations you enjoy and what you’re not keen on. The really exciting things is you’ve only just started! I’ve only offered you a small taste of ideas from my own experience to get you started. There is a host of fun anal experiences to be enjoyed. Why not move on to some beginner’s anal beads and experience the thrill of removing them at the point of orgasm? Or feel the cool, hard weight of a sensuous metal or glass plug? Or perhaps you’d like to simulate anal sex by using an anal dildo? Whatever you choose, enjoy exploring, never forget to use loads of lube and make sure your material is non-porous and body safe.
Most importantly, enjoy yourself!